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This is a little something new that we are adding to our newsletters, and to our website. This page will contain short stories, and jokes, all pertaining to the Marine Corps. We think that you will enjoy it!
Robin
Two airmen were driving across country on leave. They come to a Marine Corps base and decide to visit. They approach the gate and the Marine Guard walks up to the driver's window, and taps on it with his nighstick. The driver rolls down the window, and the Marine smacks him in the head with
the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that?
The Marine says, "You're on a United States Marine Corps Base, son. When I come up to your car, you'll have your ID card ready."
Driver says, "I'm sorry, We're in the Air Force, and we didn't know."
The Marine examines the I.D. card and gives it back to the driver.
The Marine walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the Marine smacks him with the nightstick.
The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"
The Marine says,"Just making your wishes come true."
The passenger says, "Huh?"
The Marine says, "I know that as soon as you pull away you're gonna say, 'I wish that sucker would've tried that stuff with me!'"
Two Seals boarded a quick shuttle flight out of Dallas, headed for Houston. One sat in the window seat, the other sat in the middle seat.
Just before take-off, A Marine got on and took the aisle seat next to the two Seals. He kicked off his boots, wiggled his toes and was settling in when the Seal in the window seat said,"I think I'll get up and get a coke."
"No problem," said the Marine, "I'll get it for you." While he was gone, the Seal picked up the Marine's boot and spit in it.
When the Marine returned with the coke, the other Seal said, "That looks good, I think I'll have one too."
Again, the Marine obligingly went to fetch it and while he was gone, the Seal picked up the other boot and spit in it.
The Marine returned and they all sat back and enjoyed the short flight to Houston.
As the plane was landing, the Marine slipped his feet into his boots and knew immediately what had happened.
"How long must this go on?" the Marine asked. "This fighting between our groups? This hatred? This animosity? This spitting in boots and pissing in cokes?"
Mrs. Smith, a teacher called on Johnny to tell a personal story with a moral.
Johnny said, "My Uncle Ted was a Marine pilot during the war in Vietnam, one day his plane got hit by a missile and was going down. Uncle Ted grabbed a case of beer, a machine gun and a machete and bailed out. On the way down he drank the whole case of beer. As luck would have it he landed in a field and was surrounded by 100 Viet cong soldiers. He started shooting his machine gun and killed 70 of them before he ran out of ammunition. Then he grabbed the machete and killed 20 more before the machete blade broke. He then killed the last 10 with his bare hands."
"Oh my God!" exclaimed Mrs. Smith, "What could the moral of that story possibly be?"
Johnny said, "The moral of that story is.. Don't mess with Uncle Ted when he's been drinking!"
It was a dark, stormy, night. The Marine was on his first assignment, and it was guard duty.
A General stepped out taking his dog for a walk. The nervous young Private snapped to attention, made a perfect salute, and snapped out "Sir, Good Evening, Sir!"
The General, out for some relaxation, returned the salute and said "Good evening Marine, nice night, isn't it?"
Well it wasn't a nice night, but the Private wasn't going to disagree with the General, so the he saluted again and replied "Sir, Yes Sir!".
The General continued, "You know there's something about a stormy night that I find soothing, it's really relaxing. Don't you agree?"
The Private didn't agree, but them the private was just a private, and responded "Sir, Yes Sir!"
The General, pointing at the dog, "This is a Golden Retriever, the best type of dog to train."
The Private glanced at the dog, saluted yet again and said "Sir, Yes Sir!"
The General continued "I got this dog for my wife."
The Private simply said "Good trade Sir!"
|  | Essex County Leathernecks - Marine Corps League Det 791 |
